I was riding the bikey on the wrong side of the road today, and almost rammed it into this guy. He was kind of cute, by the way. And instead of swearing at me like all normal people, or even glaring at me, he grinned at me! That reaction confused me big time. I think my face contorted itself into an ‘Erm, are you sane?’ smile. But truthfully, it sort of made my day!
I got back home and told my brother the story. The conversation moved from what my definition of a ‘cute guy’ was to love and relationships.
I would say this entire Love thingy is such an enigma. It is wonderful, if you are with the right person. If it is directed against someone who is worthy of it, it sure is bliss. It feels beautiful when you are so full of it; like your heart might just burst with all of it in excess!
And it does not necessarily have to be the boy-girl love, either! Love is when my mum manfully swallows my chat masala flavoured first attempt-bhaji and says it is yummy, when I know it is not even fit for the rats in the sewers. Love is when my brother drives out at 11.00 pm to buy me ice cream because I went, ‘Please, please? I just FEEL like it, please?’ Love is when my friend Hari tells me,’ I so wanted to call you to talk last night, but it would have been 6.30 am IST, and I knew the donkey would be sleeping.’ Love is when Ravi anna, who left for his native for three days calls me after he returns back to Chennai and says he missed me. Love is when Sandy tells me, ‘Macha, I think you did right’ with an explanation she concocts out of thin air, even though I would have done something very stupid and embarrassing. Love is when one text message in my inbox-‘yeah baby, dunn worry’ will keep me going for as long as I want.
Love comes in so many different packages, yet most of us ignore these, choosing to hatch on the bitterest package that was handled by us ever. May be if we realise that, come what may, this folder would be one that can never be deleted away, it would be easier to accept its presence, than to try so hard to ignore it.
But as always, some things are harder to accept than the rest- some things that leave a stain on you, like ooze from the afore mentioned package. And after talking to so many people, I can safely conclude that we have company! Nine out of ten people have ooze stains in varying shades. It took me months before I dulled mine, too! Months before I could wear a skirt that was above my knee, months before I could strike a conversation with someone I never knew, months before I patched up with everybody who, I was told, were ‘not a great idea’.
And all this would never have been possible if not for the abundance of love that poured in from all directions that made up for my own self’s inability to love even myself. Got me on my feet and walking. Helped me forgive myself, and yeah, why is this becoming a self-pity post now? Long story short- What would I do without you guys?!! *Big Hug* Love you all loads!
This post is for one friend of mine, who is feeling pretty much the same way. Only that his stains are fresh and new. I promised him this, saying I was in the mood to thrash the whole concept of love. And I started writing... and realised this other friend of mine –Siva, was right after all: You can never abhor it. Because it sure is one thing that makes life worth living!
