Wednesday, July 28, 2010

To Aid or not to Aid?

The latest kidnap-rape strategy that is making waves in Chennai is to get a small kid to wail in the road. The kid would then approach girls who appear to be travelling alone, and go, ‘Akka, akka, please help..’ They would have an address in hand; the address would be a house located only a street away. Out of sheer good will, the girl accompanies the kid to the doorstep, gets forcibly pulled inside and robbed/raped depending on the mood/taste of the creeps.
This bit of news was playing in my head when I got out of the train on my way back home, from work. Railway stations here are miserable places. You find all sorts of sick, old and homeless people in the railway station, because it offers them a free roof. It is such a crime to allow them shelter in a public space such as this because it gives one such a heart wrenching start to the day, every day!(“Why can’t the Government DO something??!!”) The other day I saw a drunk man roll down the stairs and drop down limp at the foot of the stair case, where his family was squatting. Everything went still, like for 2 seconds, then it was as if nothing happened. Trust me; you get to see all sorts of drama when you look close enough. I’ll save that for another post.
So yes, my mum had drilled it into my head- No talking to strange people, run away from kids asking you for help, never trust an unknown face, etc. As I walk out, there is this family- one boy and his mum, who is holding a baby. They are dressed in rags and it is drizzling. Everybody is rushing home to escape the torrent; and the boy is crying loudly- ‘Koi Hindi jaante hai? Please Koi Hindi jaante hai?’(Anybody follows Hindi here? Please, does anybody follow Hindi here?) I know Hindi well enough; I know I sure could help that family. They were just asking for help. Alone in a land that spoke an alien tongue, swarming with dark, mean, alien people. For a second I put myself in that little boy’s shoes and felt so sad for him, I started walking towards him.
Then I hear my mum’s voice go, ‘DON’T!!!’ I know it was foolish, I know it was baseless fear. But-What if it was otherwise? I do have a heart; I just don’t want it to stop functioning because of some avoidable error.
For a second that boy’s eyes found mine, and then I forced myself to look away and moved on. Only that it has been troubling me ever since.
Damn those creeps.
Then I happened to read something related to this, by Malcom Gladwell. I highly recommend his books, by the way. So he says there was this murder that happened somewhere in the US of A. A woman was chased and attacked thrice in an alley, over a span of 20 minutes, with 38 families watching from their windows. But not one soul dialed the police. Why?
A few researchers studied this, and found out that that murdered lady’s mistake was running into an alley that had 38 families. Because everybody believes somebody else will do it, and of course, nobody does. Had she run into an alley way that had just one family, she might have survived that attempt on her life. They even give it a name: ‘Diffused Responsibility’ The larger the number of people in the vicinity, the higher the diffusion. Call it whatever, it sure IS a mean mean world out there. You get screwed for helping people. You feel shitty for having not helped people. And worst of all; when you need help, most of the world runs away from you.
But I said ‘most’ of the world. There is one small percentage, of nice people in the world. That small percentage will always exist, no matter how what. That small percentage that EVER stays back to help you; those are the nice souls that exist, and will always exist. There may be creeps like the evil-rapists, but the world goes round because of people like these. Let the police force work about throwing the creeps in. You and I can work to making it a better place for the rest of the world. Like they say, angels are everywhere; you just need to find them. And try to be one of them.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

what women like

It has been a while since I blogged- work and the like keeping me; anyway, excuses, excuses! I was having one of those heart to heart talks with my bro yesterday; I was telling him how all of a sudden I was having these huge huge crushes on so many guys at the same time. I was thinking I had outgrown that phase, and now!
Crushes used to be a BIG thing through school. And they used to crop up so often. Thinking about them now, they seem so childish, but hey, all of us have been there and done all those idiot things; so I can speak about them. I walked into my very first crush in a restaurant the other day. He was my neighbour. Now, I cannot fathom what I saw in him, but I vividly remember cranky things I used to do when he was around. I was in 6th standard then, so now I excuse myself, and live with the embarrassing memories.
But technically speaking, what exactly is this thing all about? It is a super normal, natural part of growing up and hence, has to freak parents out. Even now my mum freaks out if I tell her I think someone is really cute. She has no problem with any guy friend of mine, until I tell her I think he is nice/sweet/cute. So I don’t give her those panic attacks anymore. We all learn with time.
I guess we mature with time. In the beginning, like through middle school, we used to discus boys who would have smiled at us in the traffic signal/tried to flirt with us in the train/ had been made to say ‘hi’ to us in some cousin’s wedding/ tuition mates(!!!) etc. Of course, we would perceive all these to be ‘cute’. Then through college, we graduated to having crushes on boys who were not necessarily cute, but smart in some way or the other. Some guy who was great at debating in the culturals, or who sang better than everybody else, or who had great attitude. I can’t quite remember now, anyway.
Then it has come to now. I guess at this age (I HAVE started talking like I have aged, right?) we look beyond all that, Now I tell my bro, “We started looking beyond face value, at the HEART level” and he snorts. According to him, girls never do that. HE is entitled to his opinion, anyway. Now, different things fancy me. I figured I like people who are funny and make me laugh. I like people who are gentleman-ly, those who will hold doors open for you (no, not many guys do that these days, what with all the feminism talks) and are concerned about you. I like people with whom I share common interests. Like for instance, I never used to look twice at my team mate at work till I heard that he lives alone with his two dogs he got from his home town. Now, he is this compassionate and kind guy who suddenly looks very sweet and nice to me. And we discus ‘Is Pedigree ideal enough for dogs?’ for fifteen whole minutes. Pretty lame, huh? Whatever :-)
But whatever it is, it sure is nice. What the heck, at least there is something to look forward to, when I start to work! I am sure that it will die out in a few days, till I meet someone who, say, can play great cricket! Till then, who is complaining?!!! The nice things in life that come for free! Cheers :-)