Like someone rightly said, the first few weeks of ANY new year will see one sure-shot conversation starter: What is your New Year resolution for this year? Ofcourse, I strongly recommend that nobody follow this, because seasoned conversation-ists will look you up and down with arched eyebrows and walk away. Instead, ofcourse, you could try the title of the post. So here we go- 13 things I will try NOT to do this year.
PS- This post is rumination for a write-a-post contest conducted by The Chennai Bloggers Club. The CBC is (not just a) Facebook group where bloggers with a Chennai connection interact with each other. This contest has been sponsored by Cuponation. It is India's largest coupon portal, specially designed to meet the needs of all online shoppers.
#1 I decide not to make a fool of myself in public any more. On secondary thoughts I realize that I have already broken the resolution. Only today my dear bum-of-a-friend Ranjith and I were playing hide-my-ID card-Hide-your-ID card and I got told off by my boss. “Such a shame” he hissed at me. With this resolution I also part ways with my water-sprinkler role, my banshee giggle role and my general-embarrassment-causer role in the office pantry zone.
#2 I will (in the fashion of this post) NOT to be a bad girl hence-forth by never making any of the men who ask me out wait (and subsequently curse themselves for it) The last earful I got as I slid into my friend’s car was, ‘Ah, ONLY an hour late’.
#3 I resolve not to read ANY more crappy books year. And NOT throw money on crappy books JUST because they are famously-famous. Last year saw me try-and-fail-and-try-and-fail to read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (seriously, does anybody care?), Catch 22 (or something), quite a bit of philosophy, Issac Asimov and Carl Sagan (I foresee the person who gifted me the last two fuming flames on reading this. It’s okay, Gautham, you hated Malcom Gladwell :P )
#4 I will no more be a lazy bum this year. I will rinse my coffee cup once I am done- and not wait to scratch the goo off the next time I take a break.
#5 I will not get my car crashed or scratched every time I take it out for a drive. I have taken it out on my own twice, and either has happened both times. It is such sadness. Even my own car doesn’t listen to me.
#6 I will NOT buy clothes or accessories over which sales women croon, ‘Madam, it looks beautiful on you!’ I have a collection of Halloween night outfits accumulated in such a way. Throw in a pair of palm sized butterfly earrings, bright, bright pink harem pants and some tops that look like they have time travelled from Alladin’s time.
#7 I will NOT stay quiet when I am stalked or touched inappropriately. I will not stay quiet when I hear another woman’s appeals. Why the addendum? Sad though, that the last time I yelled at a boy (not a man) who tried to grope me, there was a lady walking down the dark, lonely road with her child. The woman heard me scream, pulled her kid, and ran.
#8 I will NOT cut down on chocolates, chicken or pizza. I will NOT stop buying watches, shoes or bags. I will NOT stop buying books or gifting them. Cuponation, just FYI, you know.
#9 I will NOT waste any more of my waking time. I will not day dream about charming princes, I will not gawk shamelessly at Greek-God-like-characters, I will not re-play and go back to over and out scenarios and wish I had said something else or worn something better. I will do my work and wait for the prince to catch up :P
#10 I will not guilt trip anybody who might listen and fall for it. “This might be our LAST trip together as a gang!” “I might get MARRIED next year!” “She gets married only ONCE, you know, you might as well dance if the bride wants you to!” “It’s my ONLY 25th Birthday! It won’t happen again, you know!”
#11 I will not say things I don’t mean. Next time I see someone asking me for an opinion about a hideous saree/ shoes from planet Saturn/ a rat bite hairstyle..i will NOT turn my plastic smile on and say, ‘Who ever said it was bad? It is absolutely lovely!’
#12 I will NOT, and will not allow anybody I know (either) to litter when I am around. This is not a new ‘I will not do’ thing still. Everybody be warned, the embarrassments will continue. Moving cars will stop once you throw stuff out, I will pick it up and put it right back inside.
#13 Lastly, this year. I hope to do everything I choose to, and everything I please. If I had to sum it up- what I will not want out of 2013- Regret :)